When I wrote the article “The Good News!” – The life of every married Indian woman”, there was a very positive response, not because the article was great, but because it resonated with the pain of thousands of married Indian women. This is a similar article, but this is for those moms who have already given the “Good news”.
Yay! Finally you gave people the good news they have always wanted to hear. So, it has made everyone around you happy, right? Woman, wake up! The society always has the next question ready for you. “When is laddu going to have a little brother or sister?”, followed by statements like “Your child needs company”, “Your child will be lonely”, “Your child will be pampered and spoilt”, “Your child will never learn to share” and so on.
Being a mom of a single child myself, I have always been asked why I didn’t have a second child. I look at the questioner and answer straight faced, “Because I didn’t want to have a second child”. But it is not an easy answer for many women.
- Preethi didn’t have a second child, because she suffered from severe postpartum stress disorder after a traumatic birth experience which scarred her for life.
- Angel didn’t have a second child, because she understood the financial responsibilities, and she and her husband did not feel ready for a second child. They felt they needed to give the best possible life for their first born, their only child.
- Naina didn’t have a second child, because she had a series of miscarriages before, and her first born was a miracle baby. She was afraid to try for a second.
- Sindhu didn’t have a second child, because she couldn’t. They tried for a few years and the second child was never meant to happen for her.
- Jeena didn’t have a second child, because as much as she wanted a sibling for her son, her husband just wouldn’t agree.
- Steph didn’t have a second child, because her career kicked off in a way that even she didn’t anticipate, and she wasn’t ready for a commitment of a second child.
Every woman has a story. These are just a few of the many many truths that she is not going to tell the world. So, good woman! You don’t have to explain yourself to the world. If someone asks you the question, you can either tell them the truth, you can just smile and leave, or you can politely tell them off. You don’t have to feel flustered or upset or angry or pained. You are a beautiful mother of a lovely single child. So, live on happily and cherish your motherhood.