Women have progressed in ways unimaginable- in what they do, in the education they seek and in the careers they choose. We can see so many young women shining bright and high in the jobs they do. I have personally seen so many young women who have given the brightest men a solid run for their money. I believe that women are a lot more committed to what they do and do everything with utmost sincerity. Cutting to the chase! What happened to these bright young women? Well, they got married and had kids. And now, they are MOMS.
Moms are a different breed. Their primary priority is the kids, then the husband, then the in-laws (if they are living with them), the other relatives and then the job. The daily pressures mount and when push comes to shove, they need to let go of some burden. They can’t let go of the kids and they can’t let got of the husband. Of course, with all the progress, we still live in a patriarchal society. They may have a great job, they can be earning as much as their husband, still, come on, they are a mom first. So, again, when push comes to shove, they need to let go of some burden, they let go of the career. This is the story of many, many, many moms in our country. But again, many moms do it very happily, which is the most beautiful part. They enjoy the motherhood, enjoy the bond with the kids, enjoy the love in the house, enjoy the absolute bliss and sanity they bring into this lovely place called home.
This is for those moms – the moms who give up their dreams willingly and happily to help their kids and husbands to pursue their own dreams. In a few years, what happens to these educated women? The women who raised the kids, who cooked wonderful meals, who played the role of the dutiful wife. As years pass by, the kids grow up, they no longer need their moms full-time. They get friends, who become the pillars of their lives as children enter their teens. The husband, being the sole breadwinner of the family, in between paying off the EMIs and giving a decent life to his wife and kids, gets tangled in his own world. The mom, now recalls her days at college, her days at work, her awards, her recognition and her successes. They all now seem pretty hazy. She tries to cover up her loneliness by watching soap operas or mega serials, starts gossiping with other moms, starts bickering on unwanted issues, and basically grow old with a sense of non-achievement.
So, moms, what happened to your wings? Who clipped them? The sad truth is- moms clipped the wings themselves. I am in full support of moms who do the sacrifices they do, because they want to do them happily. But the happiness is short-lived. So, here’s my tip to those moms, who after a few years, start living their lives with a sense of non-achievement.
It’s important for moms to remember that your wings were not clipped by the society. You clipped your own wings because the burden was getting on to you. And I understand it may be difficult to get back on a full time career due to a million reasons and go back to the old job you were doing. But it is never too late to grow new wings. There are a few ways your new wings can grow.
- Do not hesitate to learn something new. Take up a course. Who said that you have to have a single career all your life? There is no rule saying “You can’t be a party planner because you were an engineer once”. There is no rule saying “You gave up being a doctor, you cannot be a sales representative”. Career is not life, where there is just one shot. You can have as many shots as possible. Find your inner passion and harness it. Learn something new and grow into it.
- Do social work. It need not be something as huge as staging a ‘dharna’ to protect an endangered forest. All it can be is teaching a few underprivileged kids basic English and Maths. Or, planting and maintaining 5 trees. It shouldn’t be the sort of work that gives you mental agony or get you entwined into a political mess. It should be something that gives you just happiness and peace of mind.
- Start blogging. Trust me. With all the talents that sleep within you, blogging gives you the power to bring them out. In no time, you will understand that you have more knowledge and talent that you actually thought you did.
- Learn about financial management. Many women are weak in that area. I am a typical example of that. The more you understand and learn about financial management, the more supportive you will be of your husband. And yes, husbands need that support in financial planning and investments. It eats up a lot of their time, which in turn leads to less time that he spends with you.
- Pick up a sport, pick up exercise, form a club, do physical activities together, create and execute challenges. It is good for the mind and the body. Many middle aged women suffer from physical and emotional issues just because they do not exercise.
- Start a home based business. Home based businesses can be anything starting from home bakers, home tutors, clothing and jewelry, tailoring, anything under the sun that interests you.
- Don’t get too personal with your acquaintances. This is a dangerous habit, that comes as a result of too much gossip and the desperate need to vent out emotions. Channel your emotions into positive energy.
- Discuss world affairs with friends. It’s the safest way to socialize without gossiping or getting too personal. It’s lot of fun and also knowledgeable.
- Form a book club. A book club is a healthy way to meet new friends and discuss about interesting books and meeting folks who have caught the literature bug
- Learn a new language or an instrument. This is an amazingly fun way to channel all your energy positively.
As you see, the list of possibilities is endless. So, dear angels, don’t let your clipped wings stay clipped forever. All you need to do is regrow them.